45) An authentic Maori feast? Yeah, right...

I have an early wander around Rotorua and I mean early. I left my hosts before 7am. I need to get into the tourist information centre 'i-site' as the NZ tourist offices are known. So I while away the time in a small parkland which is a haven of Geothermal activity. It really is fantastic to see steam rising from the ground, ponds of water bubbling away and mud-pools doing the same.

It's because I'm standing by one of Earths great wonders – a Geothermal System. These Geothermal systems involve natural heat found within the Earth. A geothermal field is created when cool ground water from rain, snowmelt, rivers or lakes comes into contact with hot rocks underground. As the water is heated, it becomes less dense than the colder surface water and then rises to the surface via faults in the Earths Crust to discharge as geysers, hot springs and other thermal nicities. I'm in the area that's most associated with New Zealand's gerthermals.

I head to the 'i-site'. The staff are very good. I explain whet I want to see, where I want to go and where I want to stay. In just a few minutes they have me booked in for a Maori tour, given me a route to my next destination and made reservations in two hostels for my remaining nights in NZ. Very slick indeed.

I head to the Maori Village on the outskirts of Rotorua. I have a read of the brochure they've given me at the 'i-site'. It's a 'Living Thermal Village' and I'm entering a 'Land of Wonders'. My ticket says 'Cultural Tour' and 'Hangi experience'.
The entrance to the village is inscribed with it's Maori name – Whakarewarewa, unfortunately pronounced Fucka-wara. And believe me – it sure is!

Now, I know the 'i-site' has big glass doors, and did they see me coming – or what?? Fifty-five NZ dollars for a ticket to wander around looking at... Well, I'm not sure what. I suppose if the 'authentic village' wasn't full of 'Authentic Maori Souvenirs' and the 'village theatre' didn't show the saddest group of Maori 'warriors' strutting their stuff – Haka war dance included.

Still I've got the 'Hangi experience' to come. Now a Hangi is a type of steam 'oven', set into the ground and the food is cooked by natural steam from the geothermals below.

Call me naive, but I was expecting my Hangi meal to be set ouside – maybe sitting down around a campfire, a few Maoris dancing around, maybe a Maori woman or two mopping my brow – or feeding me...

It's amazing how expectations can come crashing down! My Hangi experience is in a self-service cafe, where I'm given a pre-prepared plate of some steamed chicken, veggies and a couple of spuds. I look around at the other diners. They all look miserable, clearly wandering where the camp fire is....

I tried to look up the translation of ' Whakarewarewa' I think it's Maori for 'The cheesiest experience in the southern hemisphere'

Oh well – It was an experience alright, can't argue with that.

Comments

[Steve]

Wozzer - like you, I feel cheated
Steve

[Shari Brown]

Aww you poor thing. I think the expectation of tourists is that we live grass huts and dance half naked but the reality is we go home, jump on the computer and play on the internet.
And as for the hangi, it is an aquired taste. Maori's go nuts for it, especially the ones from the city.
Well next time I think you should go to Northland or fiordlands. Experience the land instead.
I hope your next experience is better.
From Miss Maori.